Hard drinking screen writer, Marty (Colin Farrell) is best friends with actor Billy (Sam Rockwell), who desperately wants to help him write a new screenplay about psychopaths. As Billy isn’t a particularly good actor, he runs a scam on the side with Hans (Christopher Walken) where they kidnap people’s dogs and then collect the reward money. When Billy and Hans kidnap the beloved Shih Tzu of mob boss, Charlie (Woody Harrelson) they find themselves in over their heads, dragging Marty along with them. This oddball film starts well with some cracking dialogue between both the main and supporting characters but somewhere around the middle it hits a lull and sort of disappears up its own arse. I feel like Martin McDonagh might have let In Bruges get to his head a bit, leading him to just put every scene he’s ever wanted to see on screen into Seven Psyschopaths, which is never a good thing. 2.5/5
Inspired by both Into Darkness and Cinema Parrot Disco, I decided to check out some classic Trek movieage this week. In the second big screen outing, Kirk (William Shatner) comes up against his former nemesis, Khan Noonien Singh (Ricardo Montalban) a genetically engineered superhuman hell bent on exacting revenge against the man who defeated him. Trapped in a seemingly unwinnable situation, the crew of the Enterprise must work together to stop Khan from unleashing a devastating weapon known as Genesis. Of course the best thing about this iconic science fiction adventure is the interaction between Kirk and Spock (Leonard Nimoy), whose close connection is ultimately far more powerful than any of Star Fleet’s impressive fire power. While the special effects haven’t aged well and the acting can be a little hammy, Wrath of Khan is a lot of fun and deserves its legendary status amongst Trekkers. 3.5/5
In this reboot of the early 90’s classic, factory worker Doug Quaid (Colin Farrell) lives on the colony, one of earth’s last outposts, travelling through the earth daily to work. When he drunkenly decides to visit Recall, a service where false memories of exciting adventures are implanted in your brain, Doug discovers that he may not be who he thinks he is. Suddenly he is thrust into a real life adventure featuring a woman (Jessica Biel) who has been appearing in his dreams. The charm of the original Total Recall featuring, of course, Arnie, is that it’s got a bit of a sense of humour. This version is deadly serious and consequently although it looks fabulous, it’s also deadly dull. Once the seemingly interminable final action sequence kicks in if you’re not a diehard action fan it all becomes a bit tedious and samey. You’re probably better off watching the original in all its three-boobed glory! 2/5
After a pillar of the community (Fionnula Flanagan) is killed during a convenience store robbery, her four adoptive sons (Mark Wahlberg, Tyrese Gibson, Andre Benjamin, Garrett Hedlund) come together to investigate her death. Soon they realise that there is more to her death than meets the eye and they are pitted not only against the local gangs and police but also potentially each other. I’m not quite sure what to make of this one. In some ways the idea of four brothers avenging their mother’s death is kind of cool but with such lame dialogue and a level of murder and mayhem that would surely be noticed by some kind of authorities, it doesn’t really work. At one point, Jen (who was watching it with me) and I thought a better title might have been “ain’t nobody got time for that!” Maybe they should have had Garrett Hedlund be shirtless. That makes everything better. 2/5



















