Film Friday #224

Sweet Home Alabama (2002)

Successful New York fashion designer Melanie Smooter (Reese Witherspoon) feels like every element of her life has fallen into place when her boyfriend, Andrew Hennings (Patrick Dempsey) – the mayor’s (Candice Bergen) son – proposes. The only complication is that while Andrew knows Melanie is from Alabama, he’s never met her family. He also doesn’t know that she’s still married to her deadbeat childhood sweetheart, Jake (Josh Lucas). Melanie makes an emergency trip to her home town to get Jake to sign divorce papers and hopefully get out as soon as possible. It’s not long before Melanie realises that she’s not actually better than everyone she left behind and that she might still have some feels for Jake, who has slowly been trying to turn his life around in the hope of winning her back. None of which is helped by the surprise arrival of Andrew and his mother. I love Reese Witherspoon but this really  isn’t her best work. Sweet Home Alabama is about as predictable as it gets and Melanie is more than a bit of an arsehole – what kind of person gets involved in a relationship where they lie to their partner about every element of their past? I am sure that it seemed like a good idea to add quite a dark back story to why Melanie fled Alabama but it feels really out of place with how frothy the rest of the narrative is. Very skippable. 2/5

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This really is not the time for a hand massage!

You Laugh But it’s True (2011)

The South African stand-up comedy is what one would refer to as under-developed. A scarred and divided past means taboo subjects, audiences that are still learning to share the same space and some very different definitions of what funny actually is. Rising out of this has been one major star in the form of Trevor Noah, a mixed race comedian from Soweto who has managed to capture not only the hearts and funny bones of South Africans but also those of audiences around the world. I myself went to see him in the Hammersmith Apollo at the end of 2013. In the lead up to his first one man show in a major Johannesburg venue – something unheard of in South Africa – Noah explores not only the healing role of comedy in the country but also provides insights into his somewhat poignant and unusual life story and his struggle to be taken seriously as an entertainer. Whether you’ve heard of Noah or not, this documentary is a really honest and realistic look at what South Africa and its people are actually like in the post-Apartheid era. It’s also very funny because the guy is genuinely absolutely hilarious and his sense of humour translates no matter where you come from (my British in-laws love him). One of the most interesting things explored is the open bitterness with which Noah is regarded by older South African comedians who see him as a flash in the pan who has had a couple of lucky breaks despite his appearances on international shows such as QIThe Daily Show, The Tonight Show and Chelsea Lately. Recommended for anyone who enjoys good stand-up. 4/5

Eish gogo, you are so tiny!

Eish gogo, you are so tiny!

The Italian Job (1969)

Following a stint in prison, Charlie Croker (Michael Cane) takes on the challenge of a revenge heist to steal a shipment of gold by causing a traffic jam in Turin. That’s really about as complex as the story line gets for this crime classic. Yes there is a lot of set-up and the gathering of Charlie’s team is amusing but what this is really about is Caine getting to do his best scenery chewing playing the Lahndan jack-the-lad character he is best known for. The simplicity isn’t necessarily a bad thing as the sixties cheekiness makes this a whole load of fun and there’s a great car chase and lots and lots of boobs (if you like that kind of thing). It’s also easy to see how much this film has influenced films like Snatch, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Oceans Eleven even if it’s surpassed somewhat by some of those. Also it will make you want a mini. Such a good laugh. 3.5/5

(Photo by Everett Collection / Rex Features 682788r)

Look, don’t tell anyone but I’m actually Batman’s butler… (Photo by Everett Collection / Rex Features 682788r)

 Step Up (2006)

Disaffected foster kid, Tyler (Channing Tatum) breaks into and vandalises a performing arts school with a couple of his mates and is punished by having to do community service at the school. Said school is attended by Nora Clark (Jenna Dewan), a senior preparing for a dance showcase that will decide her future. When her partner is injured she is worried about she will pull off her performance… but then she spots Tyler dancing with his friends and talks the director of the school (Rachel Griffiths) into letting him finish off his community service by training with her. At first there is a clash of styles between the two but as they spend more time together sparks begin to fly (who saw that coming?) Unfortunately Tyler’s fear of failure along with the lure of his car stealing past make it hard for him to commit to both Nora and pursuing dance as a career. Will he get over himself and start a better life or get dragged back to the dark side? Step Up pulls every single dance movie cliche there is and manages to do it with some style probably because Tatum can actually act and because the chemistry between the two leads, who later married after meeting on the set, sizzles. I  won’t pretend it’s not a predictable piece of fluff but dance movies are a major weakness of mine and this is definitely one of the better ones. 3/5

Until you take a shower and remove that fugly hat you ain't getting any of this jelly

Until you take a shower and remove that fugly hat you ain’t getting any of this jelly

HOT ACTORS WITH PUPPIES – HAPPY NATIONAL PUPPY DAY

This morning, Table Nine Mutant of Cinema Parrot Disco tweeted me this picture of Garrett Hedlund with a puppy in celebration of National Puppy Day in the US and it made my whole Tuesday.

Garret Hedlund

And then it got me thinking that there must be plenty of other pictures out there of hot actors… with dogs. So without further ado (and in direct competition with Vinneh’s beautiful lady posts), I bring you…

HOT ACTORS WITH PUPPIES

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Adrien brody

Best Friends Brad Pitt

Charlie HUnnam

Chris Hemsworth

Evan Peters

Heath ledger

James dean

JGL

Kit Harington

Lee Pace

leo DiCaprio

Tom Hardy

Tom Hiddleston

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American History X (1998) IMDB Top 250 Guest Review

Abbi:

Check out my review of American History X for Cinema Parrot Disco’s IMDB Top 250 project.

Originally posted on Cinema Parrot Disco:

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Today’s IMDB Top 250 Guest Review comes from Abbi of Where The Wild Things Are. She’s also reviewed Kill Bill: Vol 1& Pirates Of The Caribbean: The Curse Of The Black Pearl. Thanks for the reviews, Abbi! :-) Now let’s see what she has to say about American History X, IMDB rank 34 out of 250…

There are still some movies up for grabs if anyone wants to do a guest IMDB Top 250 review. You can find the list of remaining films HERE. See the full list & links to all the reviews that have already been done HERE.

Also, if you’d like to add a link to your IMDB review(s) on your own blogs, feel free to use any of the logos I’ve used at the top of any of these guest reviews.

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In probably his most celebrated role, Edward Norton plays Derek…

View original 710 more words

Ten great movies set in 24 hours or less

While some films are sweeping epics set over years or even generations there are some awesome films that show you just how much your life can change in just one day. These are ten of my favourite films that tell their whole story in twenty-four hours… or less.

La Haine

La Haine (1995)
Starring: Vincent Cassel, Hubert Koundé, Saïd Taghmaoui
Directed by: Mathieu Kassovitz
What happens?: A riot ensues when a young resident of a French suburban ghetto is killed by police and one of his friends swears revenge after finding a gun.
“Hubert: Heard about the guy who fell off a skyscraper? On his way down past each floor, he kept saying to reassure himself: So far so good… so far so good… so far so good. How you fall doesn’t matter. It’s how you land!”

Speed

Speed (1994)
Starring: Keanu Reeves, Sandra Bullock, Dennis Hopper
Directed by: Jan de Bont
What happens: A New York cop finds himself on a bus that has to travel above a certain speed or be blown up by a madman.
“Harry Temple: All right, pop quiz. Airport, gunman with one hostage. He’s using her for cover; he’s almost to a plane. You’re a hundred feet away… Jack?
Jack: Shoot the hostage.”

Reservoir Dogs

Reservoir Dogs (2006)
Starring: Harvey Keitel, Tim Roth, Michael Madsen
Directed by: Quentin Tarantino
What happens?: A bank heist goes very wrong and the team responsible start to think that one of their crew might be a police informant.
“Mr. Blonde: Listen kid, I’m not gonna bullshit you, all right? I don’t give a good fuck what you know, or don’t know, but I’m gonna torture you anyway, regardless. Not to get information. It’s amusing, to me, to torture a cop. You can say anything you want cause I’ve heard it all before. All you can do is pray for a quick death, which you ain’t gonna get.
[He removes his razor]
Mr. Blonde: You ever listen to K-Billy’s “Super Sounds of the Seventies” weekend? It’s my personal favorite.”

Empire Records

Empire Records (1995)
Starring: Rory Cochrane, Liv Tyler, Renee Zellweger
Directed by: Allan Moyle
What happens?: The staff of an independent record store discover that they’re about to be taken over by a big chain on the same day that one of the employees steals the takings… and all hell breaks loose.
“A.J.: What’s with you? Yesterday you were normal and today you’re like the Chinese guy from the Karate Kid. What’s with you today?
Lucas: What’s with today today?”

Do the right thing

Do the Right Thing (1989)
Starring: Danny Aiello, Ossie Davis, Ruby Dee
Directed by: Spike Lee
What happens?: On the hottest day of the year a misunderstanding leads to a full on race riot in the Bedford-Stuyvesant district of Brooklyn.
“Mister Senor Love Daddy: Today’s temperature’s gonna rise up over 100 degrees, so there’s a Jheri curl alert! That’s right, Jheri curl alert. If you have a Jheri curl, stay in the house or you’ll end up with a permanent black helmet on your head fuh-eva!”

DazedandConfused

Dazed and Confused (1993)
Starring: Jason London, Matthew McConaughey, Rory Cochrane
Directed by: Richard Linklater
What happens?: It’s the last day of school and adventures are afoot for both the freshmen and seniors of a suburban school in Texas.
“Wooderson: Man, it’s the same bullshit they tried to pull in my day. If it ain’t that piece of paper, there’s some other choice they’re gonna try and make for you. You gotta do what Randall Pink Floyd wants to do man. Let me tell you this, the older you do get the more rules they’re gonna try to get you to follow. You just gotta keep livin’ man, L-I-V-I-N.”

Clerks

Clerks (1994)
Starring: Brian O’Halloran, Jeff Anderson, Marilyn Ghigliotti
Directed by: Kevin Smith
What happens?: On the day that convenience store clerk, Dante Hicks, wasn’t even supposed to work every possible thing that could go wrong does.
“Randal Graves: Oh what, what’s with you, man? You haven’t said anything for like 20 minutes. What the hell’s your problem?
Dante Hicks: This life.
Randal Graves: This life?
Dante Hicks: Why do I have this life?
Randal Graves: Have some chips, you’ll feel better.
Dante Hicks: I’m stuck in this pit, working for less than slave wages. Working on my day off, the goddamn steel shutters are closed, I deal with every backward ass fuck on the planet. I smell like shoe polish. My ex-girlfriend is catatonic after fucking a dead guy. And my present girlfriend has sucked 36 dicks.
Randal Graves: 37.”

Before Sunrise

Before Sunrise (1995)
Starring: Ethan Hawke, Julie Delpy
Directed by: Richard Linklater
What happens?: Jesse and Celine meet on a train and and spend a night together in Vienna but will they ever see each other again?
“Celine: You know, I’ve been wondering lately. Do you know anyone who’s in a happy relationship?
Jesse: Uh, yeah, sure. I know happy couples. But I think they lie to each other.
Celine: Hmf. Yeah. People can lead their life as a lie. My grandmother, she was married to this man, and I always thought she had a very simple, uncomplicated love life. But she just confessed to me that she spent her whole life dreaming about another man she was always in love with. She just accepted her fate. It’s so sad.
Jesse: I guarantee you, it was better that way. If she’d ever got to know him, I’m sure he would have disappointed her eventually.
Celine: How do you know? You don’t know them.
Jesse: Yeah, I know, I know. It’s just, people have these romantic projections they put on everything. That’s not based on any kind of reality.”

71-2

’71 (2014)
Starring: Jack O’Connell, Sam Reid, Sean Harris
Directed by: Yann Demange
What happens?: A British solider gets separated from his regiment in Belfast and must find his way back before the IRA finds him.
“Gary Hook: Hey, listen, I don’t want you worried about me, okay? I’ll be fine, promise you.”

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The Breakfast Club (1985)
Starring: Emilio Estevez, Judd Nelson, Molly Ringwald
Directed by: John Hughes
What happens? Five high school students from different cliques find themselves in detention together for the day and realise that they have a lot more in common than they thought.
“Brian Johnson: Saturday, March 24, 1984. Shermer High School, Shermer, Illinois, 60062. Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. What we did *was* wrong. But we think you’re crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. What do you care? You see us as you want to see us – in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. You see us as a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess and a criminal. Correct? That’s the way we saw each other at 7:00 this morning. We were brainwashed.”

We continue to welcome all wankers – March Stats

After the popularity of my post on the search terms that lead people to my blog in February, I have decided to make this a regular monthly feature. And so I bring you March…

The pull of the Top 10 Movie Masturbation Scenes has not lessened in any way, which you can see from the searches underlined in red but there are some other perversions creeping in. Continue to provide your own tissues.

It also seems that there are a few people who are just as annoyed with the current crop of popular actresses as it turned out we all were when I accidentally started that blogathon. (See terms underlined in blue). Go on Keira Knightley with your ridiculous facial expression.

And then there’s the down right weird highlighted in green. This month it’s about Richard Gere’s penis instead of Patrick Stump’s. I swear I have never done any posts about penis. Maybe I should. There is clearly a demand. I want to know absolutely nothing about father peep daughter. com and yes… Bournemouth is pretty hilly…

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