Film study… week 42

Life Is Beautiful

I’m quite embarrassed that I’d never seen this WWII classic and now that I have seen it I can see why it won an Oscar. Roberto Benigni plays Guido Orefice, a hapless Jewish-Italian waiter who uses his charm and wit to win himself the woman of his dreams. Later in life Guido and his family are taken away to a Nazi concentration camp where he manages to convince his young son that they are taking part in a daring game in order to spare the boy from the horrors of their reality. This really is a study in the triumph of the human spirit and the love of a parent for their child. And yes… I cried my eyes out at the end!

No matter how he tried, Guido, just couldn't get the hang of the goosestep!

Heartless

Another example of good idea, rubbish execution. A young man with a birthmark on his face makes a deal with the devil after discovering that London is full of demons… but as all deals with the devil invariably do it, all goes tits up pretty quickly. There are too many story threads going on here… none of them developed properly. Unless you have a desperate wish to see Jim Sturgess massacring a rent boy wrapped in clingfilm while under the instruction of a small Asian girl (yes really) I probably wouldn’t bother.

Jim found himself with the horrible feeling that the parktown prawns were watching his every move...

Sidewalks of New York

Several New Yorkers try to navigate the confusing swamp that is love. Just watch Sex And The City instead… the series… not the interminable films… and take heart in the fact that if your relationship is as complicated as these people’s or if your life view is as cynical, you probably need therapy…

I'm sorry but I can't take a grown man wearing a baseball cap seriously...

Catch Me If You Can

Leonardo Di Caprio plays legendary real life conman, Frank Abagnale Jnr, who managed to commit over $4m in cheque fraud before his 19^th birthday by impersonating a pilot, a doctor, an assistant attorney general and an assistant professor. Tom Hanks (less annoying than usual), as straight laced FBI agent, Carl Hanratty, is the perfect foil to Abagnale’s incredible charm and audacity as he chases him across 26 countries. I genuinely found this entertaining so check it out if you need a good weekend afternoon film.

Big pimping... pilot style!

Film Study… week 38

The Book of Eli

Playing against type in this post apocalyptic tale, Denzel Washington is Eli, a mysterious traveller on a mission, carrying a rare copy of the Bible. Playing pretty much his usual character, Gary Oldman, is Carnegie, the man who wants it in order to use its message to control the masses. Then Mila Kunis arrives and becomes a bit of a liability and there’s some kind of message at the heart of it. I’m not entirely sure what the message was though. Possibly religion is good or possibly just knowledge is good it all got a bit up its own arse at the end. Watch Tank Girl instead… much more fun!

The parktown prawns are coming. Are you sure we have enough ammo?

Percy Jackson & The Lightning Thief

After the book that this film is based on came up in a recent book quiz I decided it might be worth watching the film. Percy Jackson (Logan Lerman) is a bit of an outcast loser, despite his startling pretty boy looks… until he finds out that he’s mom once upon a time got jiggy with Poseidon and he’s actually a demigod. On the downside, Zeus seems to think he’s stolen a lightning bolt and he’s packed off to demigod “camp” with all the other half-blood god and godesslets for his own safety. This was obviously intended to be a rival for Harry Potter and considering that Pierce Brosnan and Uma Thurman signed up there must have been some excitement around it. Unfortunately it feels like what was probably the first half of the book is whizzed through in 5 minutes and despite the awesome special effects it fell very flat.

What does Harry Potter have? A stick! I have a fucking water trident!

X-Men First Class

This X-Men prequel portrays the advent of the X-Men as well as the combined pasts of Professor Xavier (the eternally delicious, James McAvoy) and Erik “Magneto” Lensherr (Michael Fassbender).  Without giving away too much of the story, X-Men First Class explains all manner of things that take place in the later films and kicks and impressive amount of ass. Absolutely brilliant.

I TOLD you to put on sunscreen!

Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls

70’s cult classic about an all girl group who go to Hollywood looking for fame and fortune only to get caught up in a world of excess. Unfortunately the excess is nothing more scary than what you’d see in an average episode of Skins and the weird subplot about an inheritance seemed largely superfluous. I got bored very quickly. The ending was pretty explosive but the whole thing was a bit all over the show.

Zhang!

Film Study… Week 36

Catfish
Film 4

Filmed by his brother and a friend, photographer, Nev Schulman, befriends a family online. As they become closer and closer he starts to develop an romance with the oldest daughter but after one shocking night Nev realises everything is not quite what it seems and decides the only way to figure out what’s really going on is to go and look up his “friends” in person. This little documentary will keep you on the edge of your seat waiting to find out the truth and make you question exactly who you should be sympathising with. Brilliant!

I don't care what you say, my cyber girlfriend is not an overweight trucker called, Butch!

How To Lose Friends and Alienate People
Film 4

Sean Pegg plays a celebrity obsessed journalist recruited to work on a high profile magazine in New York… despite behaving like a total knob at every opportunity. When he finally starts playing the game and becomes successful he quickly realises he’d give up all the glitz and the glamour for his integrity… and Kirsten Dunst. Meh…

The moment Simon Pegg realised Shaun Of The Dead would probably be the height of his career

Hero
Sky movies

In this visually dazzling historical Chinese action drama, warrior Nameless (Jet Li) recounts the story of how he killed three legendary assassins seeking to murder Qin, the most powerful Warlord in pre-unified China. Qin is unconvinced of his prowess and slowly but surely coaxes the real story out of Nameless through a series of eye-meltingly beautiful flashbacks. Almost too beautiful to describe. If you’re someone who cares about cinematography this is a must-see.

I'm gonna stab you up, innit?

Surrogates
Source: Sky Movies

In this futuristic film, humans live plugged into chairs, operating beautiful, sophisticated robots who live out their lives for them. When two surrogates are destroyed by a weapon that also kills their human operators, FBI agents, Greer (Bruce Willis) and Peters (Radha Mitchell) investigate unaware that they’re about to uncover a conspiracy with more twists in it than a twisty thing. This throws up all manner of interesting moral questions, least of all, why does Bruce Willis look so weird with hair…

Maureen was starting to regret going for the cut-price facelift

Film Study… week 35

Hot Tub Time Machine
Source: Sky Movies

Three estranged childhood friends and one of their nephews reunite for a trip to the ski resort they loved in the 80’s. When their hot tub malfunctions they are sent back in time, and into their old bodies, to relive the weekend that shaped their futures. This film is every bit as silly as it sounds but surprisingly funnier than you’d expect. I wouldn’t rush out and watch it again but it didn’t make me want to turn off the telly.

I have a can of Whip Ass and I'm not afraid to open it!

Last Samurai
Source: Film 4

Most of the time Tom Cruise is pretty annoying but he is actually quite compelling as a bitter alcoholic Civil War Veteran, hired to be a military adviser to the Japanese government. Captured by the Samurai rebels he is supposed to be fighting, he finds himself enraptured by their dedication and stoicism. Cruise is completely out-acted by the fabulous Ken Wanatabe and the Hollywood sheen that’s been slapped over the top of this means it’s no Kurosawa, but altogether very engrossing.

Aiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeee!

William & Kate
Source: Channel 5

When William and Kate first got engaged some genius Americans decided to (very quickly) make a film version of the “romance of the century” and William & Kate is the dastardly result. Playing so fast and loose with the facts that the so called fairy tale seems more Gossip Girl than Royal , this is definitely veering into so bad it’s good territory. That’s only if you can look past the cheesy dialogue, the bad CGI-ed backdrops, the somewhat Australian sounding accents, Wills sporting rather a lot more hair than we’re used to and the representation of AFRICA as a concept rather than a continent.  My biggest concern is that some of our Yankee friends might just think this is a documentary.

Kate couldn't help but be amused when she thought about Wills' real hair

Arthur
Source: Cinema

I have vague memories of seeing the original Arthur as a child but the details are completely furry so I’m not going to attempt a compare and contrast. In the updated version Russell Brand plays Arthur Bach the alcoholic, playboy heir of an innumerable fortune. When his mother (Geraldine James) becomes tired of his childish behaviour she insists that he marry his ambitious ex-girlfriend, Susan (Jennifer Garner) or face losing his fortune. Unfortunately Arthur has fallen in love with illegal tour guide, Naomi (the charming, Greta Gerwig) and has no intention of growing up. Brand is as always playing himself and Jennifer Garner is obviously having a whale of a time playing against type but it’s Helen Mirren who unsurprisingly steals the show as Arthur’s nanny, Hobson. I know this has been slammed but there are moments of real hilarity and I found the whole thing rather sweet.

The New York crowd were unphased by Arthur's attempts to stand out, after all they had played host to Borat

Film Study… week 33

Machete
Source: Tesco DVD rental

A former Mexican federale famous for his machete skills (Danny Trejo), finds himself caught up in a failed plot to kill a Texan senator (Robert De Niro), which finally gives him the opportunity to get revenge on the man who ruined his life. This star-studded Grindhouse spectacle is ridiculous… but also ridiculously good. If you enjoyed Plant Terror or Shatterproof, this is a must see but it will make you wonder if Robert Rodriguez has a hard on for disabled women with machine guns…

Lindsay wasn't responding to "Catholic Rehab" quite like the bishop had hoped

Salt
Source: Tesco DVD rental

Angelina Jolie plays a CIA agent who goes on the run when she is identified as a Russian agent… but is she? And where do her loyalties lie? Apparently this was supposed to star Tom Cruise as the ass-kicking Salt but when he turned it down they re-wrote the part for Angelina, which takes it from what would have probably been quite a boring film to something quite exciting and unique… if you can figure out what’s going on!

Angelina found it best to always travel abroad with a backpack... just in case there was a baby about

Whip It
Source: Sky movies

Drew Barrymore makes her directorial debut in this coming-of-age tale about a small-town Texan pageant girl Bliss (Juno’s Ellen Page) who defies her controlling mother by joining a roller-derby team. I have to admit that I loved this. The characters were well-rounded and identifiable and Bliss’ story sweet without being sickly with plenty of humour to boot.

Fart and pout practise was going well

Franklyn
Source: Sky movies

Not sure what to say about this one. I feel like I need to watch it a couple more times to get my head around it. Four stories unfold concurrently. In the fantasy Meanwhile City, a faceless man (Ryan Phillipe) plots the revenge of the Individual who destroyed his life. At the same time in London, tortured artist Emilia (Eva Green) attempts suicide over and over for the camera, a man searches for his missing son and Milo (Sam Reilly) turns to his imaginary friend when his fiancée leaves him. At a first glance this is stylish but it seems to be missing a thread of connective tissue that could have made it actually good.

Eva had to admit that she might have seen Pan's Labyrinth one too many times