It’s the smo-o-oke, the smo-o-oke…

Last night I headed up to Willesden to Dom’s house to meet up with the Newquay holiday crew (minus Lucy who is home in Birmingham) for a bit of holiday pre-planning. For those who don’t know, seven of us have hired a flat in Newquay and we’ll be spending next week soaking up some rays and hopefully not killing each other.

The night comprised its usual mayhem. Sanna had put together a PowerPoint presentation, which Rob and I both found very puzzling. I don’t think he and I are natural planners. Our biggest concern was trying to figure out what kind of drinking games we should play. Saoirse and Rob had a number of near fatal arguments. Emily and I giggled and talked about clothes. I brought a couple of cakes and we all sang happy birthday to Rob and Dom or “Dobert” as they’ve been nicknamed, who both recently turned 20. And the conversation descended into orgies, the morality around incest, how alcohol is ruining our lives, Boris v Gordon as king of the idiots, sexual harassment in the workplace and babysitting disasters. I believe a good time was had by all. I pity anyone who has to sit in the same train carriage as us on the way to Newquay…

Of course at some point, as it always tends to happen if you leave us in a room with a computer, we decided we should show each other “cool things we found on the interwebz”. Saoirse and I both went for autotune the news, where a bunch of nutters have taken the American news, pumped it through autotune (as favoured by rappers who can’t sing) and added themselves in. Here’s a little example. Saoirse and I laughed… not sure everyone else got it… Shortay!

Nothing could beat this gem that Dom found though. This is a genuine demo tape sent in to an indie record label. It’s probably the best example of how NOT to tell your children about the birds and the bees that I have ever heard. Make sure to listen all the way to the end because that’s where it goes properly wrong. Also though make sure not to listen to it so many times that, like Dom, you end up singing along when you show it to your friends.

Roll on the holiday!